To medicate or not to medicate that is the question. And the biggest one you ask yourself while preparing for birth. Or really that everyone is asking you “are you going to get an epidural.

I want to preface this by saying that, this is my opinion, and heres the honesty truth, YOU ARE NOT A LESSER MOTHER FOR GETTING AN EPIDURAL. Say it louder for the ones in the back, right. I had a medicated birth the first time around, and wanted one the second time, but that just wasn’t in the universes plan for my labor, so here are my very polarizing experiences with birth.

• 

• 

The first time around, ten years ago, I didn’t go into the birthing experience really planing to medicate or not to. I decided I would listen to my body and do what was right for me in the moment. Which turned out to be, medication. I decided on the epidural, and got to nap while my body progressed through labor. But, my labor experience medicated was not rainbows and perfect labor. When it came time to push the nurses felt I could not feel the contractions and decided on lowering my epidural. Ending with the decision to go with a cesarian. I don’t blame the epidural for this, but I thought, maybe next time I could go without.

• 

Fast forward 8 years and its time for labor again. This time around I wanted to walk and move around, so I decided against the epidural right away. After almost 24 hours of labor I decided it was time, and I asked for the epidural. Heres where things went sour for me. The epidural didn’t work. So many pregnant moms worst nightmare!

I was trying to nap after getting the epidural and realizing that I was starting to feel contracts again, and if you have already been through the birth thing, you know that they give you a magic button to get some extra meds, so I pushed it, and no relief. Finally getting to the point I could not handle the pain again, I canned the nurse in and we found that the epidural was not placed correctly. I am going to be so honest, I was terrified thinking I needed to go through the rest of this labor without pain control.

• 

Fast forward another few labor filled hours and now its time to push. Something I didn’t know, and maybe you didn’t either, but, when you push, there is no pain, pushing is the biggest relief through the contractions and I was so thankful when each push came!

• 

The point of my post and going into this story is that you can make it, medicated or not because if I am being honest, I am a sissy when it comes to pain, this is why every birth I planned that I would eventually get that epidural. And maybe, if we go through that again, I might opt out, or I might go ahead and get it again, either way, I am a mother, and I am strong and so are you!